5 Fitness Mistakes To Avert

Many people approach fitness the same way, they jump in as hard as possible, diet hard, train hard, and get burnt out within a few weeks. Jumping in too fast can lead to exhaustion and boredom with health and fitness, leading to many people calling it quits. It even happens to people that have been doing it for years if they aren't careful. It doesn't just affect newcomers. The best thing you can do to make sure this doesn't happen to you is continue reading this article to find out 5 mistakes thousands of people make!

1 - Not Planning Ahead

You have to plan ahead if you want to succeed with a healthier lifestyle through diet and fitness. Your diet, your training regime, your individual workout sessions, and your goals, both long term and short term, need to be planned before venturing into a new world. Chances are, if you forget to plan any of these things, your results will suffer and you may end up quitting, simply because you don't know what you need to be following. Random workouts and meals are good sometimes, but if you rely on randomness all the time, you will probably fail!

2 - Too Many Excuses

Excuses are too common in our world today, and they are even more common in the fitness world. just because you have a little cough and no other symptoms does not mean you should put off your workout (unless you actually feel sick of course). Just because tonight is Friday and your buddies are all going out to the bar and they want you to come doesn't mean you can't workout. You can't afford to eat healthy. There is an excuse for everything, and none of them are worth the time it took to think them up. Stop making excuses if you want to be healthier and be physically fit. You don't succeed in life by putting stuff off because you have a 'good' excuse.

3 - How Often To Workout

A lot of people think working out once a week for 15 minutes is just fine. Others think they have to be in the gym every day of the week for 2 hours or more. Working out too little or too much won't get you anywhere. You have to workout the right amount every week to meet your goals, and that amount of time spent working out is different for everyone. If you workout too little, you will never meet your goals. If you workout too much, you risk injury and overtraining. Usually, the best routine to do is 3 to 4 times per week for about an hour per workout. In fact, thousands of people already follow workout routines that follow that schedule!

4 - Magic

Sorry, science has still yet to come up with a workout program, and a pill that performs magic for you. There is nothing magic about success with health and fitness. It just takes hard work and dedication. It may sound harsh but it can't be any closer to the truth. Companies spend millions on advertisements hoping the consumers don't realize that magic doesn't exist.

5 - Comparisons

So many people lose motivation because they choose to compare themselves to somebody else, usually with more experience under their belt. If you want to succeed, you can't go around comparing your body to the next person. Your DNA makes you different from the rest of the world, so why would you compare yourself to someone else? You don't compare dogs and cats when it comes to their body. The only comparison you should be making is yourself now to yourself 6 months ago. If that doesn't give you great motivation, then you are not working out right!

Now you have read the 5 easiest mistakes to avoid in the world of fitness. If you set realistic goals and don't make the mistakes listed in this article, there are very few things in the world that can stop you from reaching them. Feel free to bookmark this article and come back to it anytime!

If you are looking for more information on health and fitness, you should check out Milo Martinovich Fitness. It features an informational Health And Fitness Blog. If you would like to know about their services, like online personal training, click here: http://milomartinovich.blogspot.com/p/online-personal-training.html.

Solving the ZORK series: A walkthru by Scorpia

---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=--- ZORK I ---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=---=--- So, you're all set for The Great Underground Empire, eh? Okay, but before we begin, a few words about this walkthru. First, this is not the only way to solve the game. It's just one of the faster ones. Second, because there is no "wasted motion" in this game, you will not be visiting all the locations. So, you might want to play around with the game on your own for a while, mapping out as much as you can, without much regard for gathering treasures. Actually, mapping is a good idea, since, if you make a misstep somewhere, you might find yourself in trouble! Be especially careful to follow the directions when in the mazes; a wrong move there, and you could be lost for quite some time! Finally, you may not go through this in exactly the way it's written because of the thief. He is a variable item in the game; you never know where he will show up. Try to move out of the room he's in as soon as he shows up. But keep in mind that even if he does steal anything from you, you will get it all back from him in the end. Okay? Let's start the adventure! You begin West of the house, and your first chore is to get inside. So, go South and East. Open the window and enter the house (you're in the kitchen), then go West into the living room. Get the lamp, then move the rug, revealing the trap door. Open the trap door, turn on the lamp, and go down. At this point, some mysterious person will shut the door on you; don't worry about that for now. Okay, so here you are in the cellar. It's time to pick up your first treasure, so go South, then East to the Gallery. Get the painting, then continue North to the Studio. Go up the chimney (you can only fit with the lamp and the painting), and you will be in the kitchen again. Now, go upstairs to the attic, and get the knife and rope. Come back down and go into the living room. Open the case and put the painting inside. Then, drop the knife and get the sword. Open the trap door again, and return to the cellar. Again, the door is shut by someone (you never will find out who's doing this, but it doesn't matter). Now you're back in the cellar, and since we're coming to one of the more dangerous parts of the game, you might want to do a save here. Gripping your trusty sword, head North into the Troll room. There's a nasty troll here with a bloody axe, and the only way past is to kill him. So, do just that: "Kill Troll With Sword." It will most likely take more than one attempt, so keep at it, and eventually he will disappear in a cloud of black smoke. Now, drop the sword, because you really don't need it any more, and it will hinder you in carrying other, more important items. Having dispatched the troll, you move along East, East (into the Round room), then SE and East. You are now in the Dome room. It's a long way down, and too far to jump, so here's where the rope comes in handy. Tie the rope to the railing, then climb down the rope. You will be in the Torch room. Leave the torch for now; you'll be coming back this way again later. From the Torch room, go South, then East and get the coffin. Return West, then continue South to the Altar. There's no way you're going to get down that hole with the coffin, and even the program will tell you that you haven't got a prayer. That's a hint, folks: Just "Pray," and you will find yourself in the forest again. Since it's daylight out, save energy and turn off the lamp. Now, head along South, then North (I know, but it works!) to the clearing, then East to the Canyon View. Climb all the way down to the bottom, then go North to Rainbow's End. Drop the coffin and open it. Inside is a jeweledsceptre. Get that, and wave it. The rainbow will become solid (you'll need to cross over from the other side later). Now, "Look." You should see a pot of gold. Get that, and the coffin. After that, go SW, then all the way back up to Canyon View. From there, it's NW to the clearing, and then West to the window. Once in the kitchen, open the bag and get the garlic (nothing else, just the garlic). Go on into the living room, and put your treasures in the case. Now, sit down and take a breather, because you're about to do a lot of traveling! Once again, open the trap door, turn on the lamp, and go down. Watch carefully, and you will notice that this time, the door doesn't close! Whoever was doing it before must have gotten tired. Anyway, you're on your way to the dam, so move along North, East, North, NE, and East. You are now on top of the dam. From there, go North to the Lobby. Pick up the matches, then go either North or East (doesn't matter) into the Maintenance room. Get the wrench and the screwdriver, then push the yellow button. Now, return to the dam, and you will see that the green bubble is lit. Turn the bolt with the wrench, then drop the wrench. You have opened the dam, and you will be coming back this way again to reap the fruits of your labors. However, right now, you're on your way to Hades, so let's get going! Go South, then down into the Loud room. Leave the platinum bar for now; you'll get it later. Head West into the Round room, then SE and East (hmmmm, haven't you been here before?). Again, climb down the rope. This time, get the torch. At this point, you can turn off your lamp; the torch will provide light so long as you have it. Now, continue straight South, getting the bell, then the book and candles from the altar. Go down the hole to the cave, then down again to the entrance to Hades. Your candles will have blown out by this time, but don't worry about it. Okay, here's where you have to be careful. First, ring the bell. It will become red hot and you will drop it. You will also drop the candles. Stay calm, and do the following, all in one command: Get the candles, light match, light candles with match (necessary, because of the torch, and *DON'T* use the torch, or you'll vaporize the candles!). Okay, strange things happened when you lit the candles, now read the book. Whew! The demons have been exorcised! Herb Grinders Drop the book, then go South and get the crystal skull. Now, back North, then up to the cave, then North to the Mirror room. By the way, better put out the candles. Rub the mirror, and you will now be in another Mirror room (this one is North of the dam, as the other one is South). Now, go North, then West, then North, then West into the Squeaky room (well, I told you you'd be doing a lot of traveling this time!). Make sure you have the garlic with you, then go North into the Bat room. So long as you have the garlic, he won't bother you. There is a jade figurine here, but leave it for now. You'll pick it up on your way out. Go East to the Shaft room. Put the torch into the basket, then turn on your lamp and head North to the Smelly room, then down to the Gas Room (best not to carry any open flames here!). Now, you are about to enter a small maze, so follow these directions *CAREFULLY*! East, Northeast, Southeast, Southwest, down, and you should be at the top of the ladder (if you aren't, may God have mercy on your soul!). From there, go down to the Ladder Bottom, and then South to the Dead End for the coal. Get that, then return to the ladder top. From there, go up, North, East, South, North, and you will be back in the Gas room. Go up, then South to the Shaft room again. Put the coal in the basket, and lower the basket. Now, guess what? You have to go back through the coal mine again! So, make your way to the Ladder Bottom, but this time, go West to the Timber room. Ignore the broken timber (not useful for anything), and drop all but the screwdriver. Now, you can squeeze through the crack to the West. And here you are in the Drafty Room, which is also at the bottom of the shaft. There's the basket, so get the coal and the torch, and move South into the Machine room. Open the lid, put the coal in the machine, close the lid, and turn the switch with the screwdriver. Drop the screwdriver, open the lid, and get the diamond (well, no one ever said Zork was an *EASY* game!). Now, go back North, and put the torch and the diamond in the basket. Squeeze back East into the Timber room. Get the skull, lamp, and garlic. You won't be needing the matches and the candles any more, so you can leave them. (They were insurance in case the thief came along and stole the torch before you could get the diamond). Now, head East again to the Ladder Bottom, and from there up and through the coal mine (you know the way now!), to the Gas room. Pick up the bracelet, then continue on up and South to the Shaft room. Get the torch and the diamond from the basket, turn off the lamp, then go West into the Bat room. Get the jade, then go South, East, South to the Slide room. Now, here's a fast way back to the cellar: Just go down the slide! Wheeeee! Then it's up to the living room (remember, the trap door is open now), and all the treasures go into the case. Huff! Puff! Bet you didn't know you'd be doing *THIS* much running around! But, don't get too relaxed, there's still plenty more to come (urk!). Turn on the lamp, and return to the cellar. From there, it's North (ah, deja vu!), then East, North, NE to Reservoir South. Now that the sluice gates are open, you can head North, picking up the trunk of jewels, North again to Reservoir North, getting the air pump, and North one more time, getting the crystal trident. After that, go all the way back South again to Reservoir South, then East to the dam, and then East once more to the Dam Base. Here you find a little pile of folded plastic; guess what it is? Right, it's an inflatable boat! So, inflate it with the pump, then drop the pump, then get inside the boat, say "Launch," and you're floating off along the Frigid River. Now, just keep waiting until you see the buoy. Get that, then "East" to the beach. Get out of the boat, then get the shovel and move on to the Sandy Cave to the NE. You might want to save the game at this point, since you have to dig here until the scarab turns up, and I'm sure you don't want to get buried alive (it's been known to happen!). Okay, drop the{_ shovel and get the scarab, then go back SW. Drop the buoy and open it; inside is an emerald. Get that, then continue South to the Aragain Falls. Here you can cross the rainbow (so do that!), which brings you to the End of The Rainbow. Turn off the lamp, then go SW to the Canyon Bottom. From there, make your way back to the living room, and put all the treasures in the case. Your collection is quite impressive by now, but you aren't finished yet. Go East twice, then North twice. Climb up the tree and get the egg. Climb down again, and go South, East, and back to the living room. However, this time, you don't put the treasure in the case. Turn on the lamp, and go down (once again!) into the cellar, and North to the Troll room. Now, you are about to enter a maze, so follow the directions very carefully! West (this brings you into the maze), South, East, up, and you find several items here. Take only the coins and the key, and be careful not to touch the skeleton! From here, go SW, East, South, SE, and you will be in the Cyclops room. The Cyclops is not friendly, but you can deal with him effortlessly: Just type in "Ulysses" (or "Odysseus," if you prefer). Old One-Eye will tear out of there right through the wall! In fact, he will create a passage eastward from that room right into the living room! However, you don't want to go that way yet! Instead, go upstairs, and you will be in the Treasure Room, the thief's secret lair. Now, give him the egg, and go back downstairs, then East to the living room. Deposit the coins in the case, then get the knife (the thief needs a little time to open the egg). Okay, go back West to the Cyclops room. Again, at this point, saving is recommended; the thief will not be easy to kill! So, head upstairs and use the nasty knife to kill the thief. Once he's dead, all treasures in the room will be visible. This includes the egg, a silver chalice, and anything he may have stolen from you before. Get everything, then follow these directions: Down, NW, South, West, up, down, NE, and you will be in the Grating Room. Unlock and open the grate (watch out for falling leaves!), then go up. You will be in a clearing. From there, go South and climb the tree again. Wind up the canary that's inside the egg. A songbird will come by and drop a bauble for you. Climb down again and get the bauble, then return to the living room. Put all the treasures in the case, making sure you *REMOVE THE CANARY* from the egg and put it in the case separately! You're almost finished! Just one more trip to make! Now, for the last time, enter the cellar and go North. From the Troll Room, go East until you come again to the Loud Room. Type in: "Echo," and you will now be able to get the bar. So, grab it and return to the living room. Once you place it in the case, you will get a message. Follow the advice of that message, and you will get a map. Take that, and return to the place where this all started, the mailbox West of the house. You should have no trouble getting to the barrow from there. Of course, once you enter the barrow.... You didn't really think it would end there, did you? Not when there's still Zork II and Zork III waiting for you up ahead! Ah, but it's too late; you can't turn back now! You'll just have to grit your teeth through to the end (with a little help, of course). See you in Zork II! ===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-=== ZORK II ===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-===-=== So, back for more, eh? Zork I wasn't enough...or did you get hooked? No matter, it's almost time to get started. However, first a few words of advice. The Wizard of Frobozz is a lot more troublesome than the thief ever was. This is due to his spell-casting abilities. Therefore, frequent saving of the game is recommended! Otherwise, you will be wasting a lot of time waiting for some spells to wear off. Okay, let's go! Get the sword and lamp, and move along South, South, South, SW to the Shallow Ford. At this point, turn on your lamp, then continue South, SE to the North End of Garden. Enter the Gazebo, and get all items on the table. Then "Exit Gazebo," and go N, NE to the Shallow Ford and fill the teapot with water. Now, head South, SW, SW, and you will be in the Carousel Room. This is a wonderful place that spins you around, so you can't be sure that you're going in the direction you specify. Fun, huh? The thing to do here is keep moving around until you get to the Riddle Room. That room is actually SE of the Carousel Room, but you aren't likely to get there by typing SE, at least not for a while. So, every time you move, and find yourself somewhere else besides the Riddle Room, you will have to return to the Carousel Room and try again. Also, before you start moving around, drop everything but the teapot and the lamp; you'll pick up the things again as you need them. These are the directions from the various other rooms to the Carousel Room: Marble Hall - South Path Near Stream - Southwest Topiary - West Menhir Room - North Cobwebby Corridor - Northeast Cool Room - Southeast All right, you've finally made it to the Riddle Room. Now, all you have to do is answer the riddle! Actually, it's a fairly simple riddle; just enter: Say "A Well," and you will be able to move on to the East, which is the Pearl Room. Leave the necklace for now, and continue East into the Circular Room. There is a large bucket here, just big enough for you to enter, so do that. Then pour water into the bucket, and it will rise to the top of the well. Get out of the bucket, then go East into the Tea Room, and get all cakes except the orange one. Eat the green cake, and you will shrink down. Now, go East into the Pool Room, and throw the red cake into the pool of tears. The water will be soaked up, and you can get the package of candies. Forget about the flask; there is no use for it. Return West to the Posts Room, and eat the blue cake. Presto! You are returned to normal size. Stretch a little, then head NW into the Low Room. Aha, there's a robot here. Tell the robot to "Go E," then go that way yourself, and you will both be in the Machine Room. I wouldn't be surprised if the controls to the Carousel room were here! Tell the robot to "Push Triangular." There will be a thud in the distance (something fell), and the Carousel Room is now off. Tell the robot to go South, and do likewise. You are now in a Dingy Closet, and a red sphere sits invitingly just beyond your grasp. Try getting it, and a steel cage will come down over you (uh oh!). Not to worry, however! Once the cage is down, just tell the robot (even though you can't see him) to "Lift Cage." Once that's done, you will be able to get the sphere. Now, getting back to the bucket may be a problem of sorts; pushing the button has caused strange things to happen in the Low Room. So, after going North and West from the closet into the Low Room, you may have a problem when trying to go SE back to the Tea Room. Keep trying however, and you'll get there sooner or later. Then, go West from the Tea Room, enter the bucket, get the water, and the bucket will descend again. Get out, drop the Teapot, head West, pick up the necklace, then West again and NW to the Carousel Room. There is a box here (the thud you heard before). Open it, and inside is a violin. You don't need to take it now, so just leave it here for the time being. Drop the sphere, necklace and candy, then get the sword, place mat and letter opener. Move North to the Marble Hall, picking up the brick, then continue North until you come to the Ledge in Ravine. Go up to the Tiny Room, which has a locked door. Slide the mat under the door, then move the lid and insert the opener in the keyhole. Remove the opener, then pull the mat and get the key. Now, unlock and open the door and go North into the Dreary Room. Drop the key and opener, and get the blue sphere. Now, it's South and Down to the ledge, then West and North into the Dragon Room (what would an adventure game be without a dragon?). He's not one of your nicer dragons, so be careful here. Hit him with the sword, then move South. He will follow you. Hit him a second time, and move South again. He's still following you, and you're almost where you want to be. Whack the scaly nuisance one more time, and head West into the Ice Room. Okay, the dragon follows you in, gets silly over his reflection in the glacier, and proceeds to get himself drowned. You can drop the sword now, since you won't be needing it anymore. As his body washes away, go East and SE to the Carousel Room, then SW to the Cobwebby Room. Get the string, then go back NE and pick up the newspaper and the matches. Now move along NW, West, and West again into the Lava Room. Leave the ruby for now, and continue on Southward to the Volcano Bottom. Aha, look what's here....a hot air balloon! All you need is a way to get it inflated, and you just happen to have the means to do that. Get into the basket, then open the receptacle and put the newspaper inside. Light a match, then light the newspaper with the match. Make sure you keep the receptacle open! Now, just wait until the balloon rises to the Narrow Ledge, then "Land." Tie the wire to the hook and get out of the basket. On the ledge is a gold coin. Pick that up and head South into the Library. Get the purple book, open it, get the stamp, then drop the book. You can ignore the other books; they are all worthless. Now, back North and into the basket again. Untie the wire, and wait until the balloon rises to the Wide Ledge. Again, "Land" and tie the wire to the hook. Get out and go South. Now, it's time for a few thrills. Put the string in the brick, then put the brick in the hole in the box. Now light a match, then light the string. Now, head North *IMMEDIATELY*. There will be an explosion, then you can safely go back and get the crown. But don't dawdle; once you have it, get back to the basket pronto! The explosion weakened the ledge, and it won't hold much longer. So, get in, untie the wire, close the receptacle, and wait until the balloon lands at the Volcano Bottom. Well, you seem to be doing almost as much travelling around as in Zork I, and you aren't finished yet, not by a long shot! Go North, get the ruby, then East twice and SE to (yet again!) the Carousel Room. Drop off everything but the lamp, then go NW, North, North, West, and West again, and you should now be at the entrance to the bank. The bank is tricky, so follow directions carefully here. Go NE, then East into the Safety Depository, then South into the office and pick up the portrait, and back North again. Now, "Enter Light," and you will be in a small room. At this point "Enter South Wall," and you will be in the Depository again. "Enter Light" a second time, and you will find yourself in the vault, with a pile of bills in front of you. Get the bills, then "Enter North Wall," and once more you are in the Depository. Now, drop the bills and portrait, and go East to the East Tellers Room. Go East again to the Depository, pick up the goodies, and "Enter Light." This time, you are in the East Viewing Room. From there, go South and you will be at the bank entrance. You have robbed the bank, and kept the alarms silent. Okay, head along East until you reach the Dragon Room, then North to the Dragon's Lair. Leave the chest for now; instead, say "Hello Princess," and wait until she leaves. Follow her, and continue to follow her until you are both in the Gazebo, then wait. The unicorn will appear, and the princess will give you the key from around its neck, and also a rose. You can drop the rose; it has no use in the game. Well, you're getting closer to the end-game, but there are still a few things left to do. Exit the Gazebo, then move South, West, SW. Drop off some of the treasures, then go back NW, North, North, North to the Lair again. Open the chest and get the statuette, then return to the Carousel Room. From there, due South to the stairway. This is a good place to save the game, as you are about to enter one of the nastier mazes around. Go down the stairs, and you will be in the Oddly-Angled Room. Things are not always as they seem here, and the exact direction to go at this point is not constant. Try East first, and if you can't go that way, then try West. Either way, you should find a club. Get the club, and from that point, go SE, NE, NW, SW. Watch the room descriptions carefully as you do this; the little diamonds on the floor should get brighter with each move you make (you are actually "running the bases" here). If they are not doing this, restore the game and try again. When you have done it successfully, there will be a noise in the distance. Now, you should try to go either North or South (that varies also). If one way doesn't work, try the other, and if neither works, try East or West. There will be a staircase going down, but you don't want to do that yet, so go Up instead, and head North until you are back in the Carousel Room. Get the blue and red spheres and the candy. Drop a few things if you have to, but hang on to the club! Now, SW twice, and you are in the Guarded Room, with a lizard head in the doorway. Give the candy to the lizard, then unlock the door with the gold key. Open the door and go South, then West twice into the Aquarium. Throw the club at the aquarium, then get the clear sphere. Go East into the Wizard's Workroom. Put each sphere on the stand of the same color, then get the black sphere that appears, and go South into the Pentagram Room. Put the sphere on the circle, and the Demon will appear. You must give him *ALL* the treasures you have collected, as well as the gold key. This will mean at least one more trip to and from the Carousel Room to get all the stuff. When you have given everything to the demon, tell the demon, "Give Me The Wand," and he will take the wand from the Wizard and give it to you. Now, you're almost finished! Go North, East, North, North, NE, South, and you are in the Menhir Room. You need to get the Menhir out of the way for a little while, so do this: Wave the wand at the Menhir and say, "Float." The Menhir will rise up, allowing you to go SW into the kennel and get the collar. After that, go NE, then South, then Down, and Down again into the Cerberus Room. Cerberus is no problem; just put the collar on him. Now, go East, then South, and you are in the Crypt. Turn off the lamp, and you will notice a secret door in the south wall. Open the door and go South, and you will be on the Landing. The game is over!! Or is it? After all, there's still Zork III up ahead! =-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-= ZORK III =-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-= Well, you've come a long way since you first stood by the mailbox outside the house in the forest. You've defeated the thief, outwitted the Wizard of Frobozz, and now, you stand at the foot of the endless stairs, ready to embark on the final part of your journey. So, pick up the lamp, turn it on, and head along due South until you come to the shore of the lake. Drop the lamp , and jump into the lake. Brrrr!!! Pretty cold! So, don't stay in there long; swim west and then go South into the Scenic Vista. Kind of a strange place, with changing numbers on the wall and a bare table...not quite all that scenic, eh? Well, get the torch, and wait for the number to change to "II." Then, touch the table. Bongs My oh my! You're in a room from Zork II....Room 8, as a matter of fact. However, you don't have much time to sight-see, so get the can of Grue repellant, then try moving East, and you will find yourself back in Scenic Vista again. Now wait for the number to change to "III," then touch the table again. This time, you're in a Damp Passage. Drop the torch, and just wait there until you're pulled back to Scenic Vista. Okay, you're finished here, so move along North to the shore, and again jump in the lake. Splash! It hasn't gotten any warmer; in fact, you just dropped the can of repellant. So, go Down, and you will be on the lake bottom. Ah, there it is! But, could there be something else there, too? "Get all," and you will have not only the repellant but also an amulet. This is one of those "wonderful" variable things; it may take more than one try on your part to get both items. In the meantime, you can't stay in the icy waters too long, and sooner or later a hungry fish will come looking for you. Therefore, it's best to save the game before you jump in from the Western Shore. So if you die in the water, or get eaten by the fish, or picked up by the Roc , you don't have to start all the way back at the beginning. By the way, this is the only one of the Zorks where you don't lose points if you die. But, all the items you've collected so far get scattered all around, and it's time-consuming to go look for them. Okay, now you have the can and the amulet, so head Up to the surface, then South to the Southern shore. You can see a cave to the South, and it looks kind of dark. In fact, it *is* dark in there, which is why you have the repellant. So, spray the smelly stuff on yourself, and go South, and you will find yourself in a Dark Place. Go South again, then East, and you will be in the key room. Whew! At least there's some light in here! And by the light you can see a strange key. Get the key, then move the manhole cover and go down. And here you are on an aqueduct. Since you can't go back , you might as well go forward. So, just head along North and you will come to the Water Slide. Go North down the slide, and guess where you are? In the Damp Passage! And there's the torch, so pick it up, because you're certainly going to need a light source...especially when you think of where you're going next. So, from the Damp Passage hike along West to the Junction , then South into Creepy Crawl, and Southwest into the Shadow Land. Here we come to another variable portion of the game. You will have to wander around in the Shadow Land until a cloaked and hooded figure appears. When that happens, the sword will suddenly materialize in your hand, and you will be able to fight. However, since there's no way of telling when that will happen, you just have to keep moving around until it does. At least you will get a chance to practice some elementary map-making! Also, this is the most dangerous part of the game, as the figure is quite capable of killing you, too! So, best to save before you enter Shadow Land. When the mysterious figure finally appears, attack him with your sword until he is badly wounded and cannot defend himself. At that point, get his hood. The figure will then disappear, leaving the cloak behind. Get that also. Now, you have to get out of here, and I can't tell you exactly how, since there's no way of knowing exactly where you were when the fight started. However, if you go Eastwards, you will exit the Shadow Land at either the Creepy Crawl or the Foggy Room. From either place, go North to the Junction. From the Junction, it's West through the Barren Area, and West again to the Cliff. Bet you just can't wait to climb down the rope, huh? Well, pick up the bread first, then go down to the ledge. Well, well, a chest! Too bad you don't have a key to open it. In fact, there's no way for you to open it at all. But don't despair, there's a way of doing it. Just wait around and someone will come along the top of the cliff. You may not really trust him, but tie the rope to the chest when he asks, and wait around some more. Eventually, he will return and help you back up the cliff. He will also give you a staff, which is what you're really after here. Take the staff, then go back down to the ledge, and from there, to the Cliff Base. Now trek South to the Flathead Ocean, and do a little more waiting. Sooner or later a ship will come floating by. As soon as you see it, say: "Hello, Sailor." The man in the ship will throw something onto the beach for you. Take a look, and you will see it's a vial. It'll come in handy later, so pick it up. Now comes the fun part: You have to wait for the earthquake . While you're waiting, you might want to wander around a little, although you've been to most of the accessible places by now. In any case, wherever you are, once the earthquake hits, make your way to the Creepy Crawl, and from there East into the Tight Squeeze, then East again into the Crystal Grotto. Then all the way South to the Great Door, and East into the Museum Entrance. Now, open the East door, then go North into the Museum. Look at the gold machine , then set the dial to 776. Here comes the fun part: Push the machine South into the Entrance, then East into the Jewel Room. Get into the machine, and push the button. Aha! Now you're back in 776 GUE, but the time machine seems to have vanished! No matter, wait for the guards to leave, then get the ring , then open the door, go out into the Entrance, open the North door and go North. By golly, the machine is right there! Put the ring under the seat, turn the dial to 948, get in, and push the button. Whew, you're back in the right time period again. Get out of the machine, look under the seat , then back South, and South again, to the Royal Puzzle. Okay folks, you are about to enter the absolute nastiest part of the game. You must follow the instructions *EXACTLY* as given, or you will never get out. And, since it would be easy to make a mistake here, I strongly recommend you save the game. 1. Go Down the hole, then push the South wall. Then go East, South, East, East. Push the South wall, get the book, and push the South wall again. 2. Push the West wall twice. Then go East, South, and push the East wall. 3. Now, go straight North until you come to the marble wall, and push the East wall. 4. Now, go West, South, South, South, South, East, East, North, North, North, and push the West wall. 5. From there, go East, South, South, South, West, West, West, West, North, North, North, West, North. Push the East wall three times. 6. Now, West, West, South, South, East, East, South, and push the East wall. 7. Okay, now West, West, West, North, North, North, East, East, and push the South wall two times. 8. From there, West, South, South, East, East, North, and push the West wall two times. 9. Now, South, West, and push the North wall until it won't move any more. 10. Then West and North. Finally! You have maneuvered the ladder under the hole , and now you can just go up and out! WHEW!!!! Okay, you've solved the Royal Puzzle and you have the book, so go North to the Museum Entrance, then open the East door and get your other stuff from the Jewel Room. Then it's back West to the Great Door, and from there back to the Junction. Now, East into the Damp Passage, and NE to the Engravings Room. Well, we have here yet another <!> of those variable events: Sooner or later, an old man will be sleeping here. If he isn't there the first time you arrive, walk around a little and return. When you finally do see him, wake him up and give him the bread. He will eat it and then make visible to you a secret door. He will then vanish. Okay, you're getting closer to the end! Open the door, and go into the Button Room, then North to the Beam Room. Put the sword in the beam, then go back to the Button Room and push the button. Now, back North to the Beam Room and North again into the Mirror Room. There will be an opening in the Mirror, so go North one more time, and you will be inside. Now, don't let the long and complicated descriptions scare you! It's not really as bad as you think . First, raise the short pole. Then, push the white panel twice. Now, push the pine panel, and go North. Okay, so here you are, standing a little too close for comfort to the Guardians of Zork. If I were you, I wouldn't try going past them quite yet! Open the vial, then drink the liquid. While nothing seems to have happened, you have in fact become invisible. Now you can walk North until you come to the locked door. Knock on the door, and the Dungeon Master will open it and let you in. All right, hang in there, you have reached the end game! Go North, then West, then North again. The DM will be following you. Go North to the Parapet, set the dial to 4, and push the button. Now, go South, open the cell door, and step inside. The DM will not follow you in. Once inside, you will notice a bronze door in one of the walls. However, you can't open it yet! Something else has to be done. And it will have to be done by someone else. So, first tell the DM to go to the Parapet. Then tell him to turn the dial to 1, and then tell him to push the button. All right!! The magic moment has arrived! Unlock the bronze door with the key, open the door, and go South! ***** TA DA!! ***** Finally, Zork is finished! You have survived all the perils, pitfalls, and puzzles, and now, *YOU* are the new Dungeon Master. Have fun!

The Hint Booklet for ZORK 3

Sample Question *************** Why did Lord Dimwit Flathead throw his grandfather clock out the window? A. Have you studied the trajectory from several angles? B. Why does he always use the second-story window? C. Excessive as always, he wanted to see time fly. Table of Contents ***************** Central Area The Land of Shadow and the Cliff Area The Royal Museum Beyond the Secret Door The Rectangular Box The Guardians of Zork The Dungeon General Questions How Points Are Earned (as a last resort) For Your Amusement (after you've finished) Central Area ************ How do I climb the endless stair? If you wish to go back to ZORK II, just switch diskettes! How do I get the sword in the stone? A. "Who do you think you are? Arthur?" B. "The sword is deeply imbedded within the rock. You can't even begin to budge it." C. Be patient. You'll get it when the need for it arises. How can the runes be translated? A. A Runish-to-English dictionary? B. Have you examined them? C. Beyond that, you'll get nothing more. How do I climb the channel in the Damp Passage? "The channel climbs too rapidly and the moss is slippery." What will increase traction? A. Studded snow tires work well on glare ice. B. Some purists insist on chains. C. If you were thinking of climbing the slippery moss, forget it. You really can't go that way. How can I clear the rubble in the Damp Passage? A. "The channel opening is blocked by tons of debris." B. You can't. Where do I find the old and wizened man? A. The runes are a very subtle hint. B. There is a chance he will appear when you enter (and only when you enter) the Engravings Room. How do I waken the old and wizened man? A. He is sleeping very soundly. (Listen to that snore.) B. Try saying WAKE MAN or SHAKE MAN. What do I do about the old and wizened man? A. Attacking him would not be very sporting, but it might give you a clue. B. He is described as "weak," "tired," and "frail." C. Have you considered helping him? You might give him something he could use. D. Try giving him the waybread. Can the phosphorescent moss be kept alive for more than 10 moves? A. Smoking Accessories Certainly. It will live throughout the entire game. B. But you will never be able to take it, move it, or use it as a light source anywhere else. How can I open the Great Iron Door? A. You cannot open the door. B. However, after the earthquake you will find a cleft in the rock that will allow you to pass. How do I get the rust remover tube from the warlock? What a looney! How do I get out of the chasm? A. How did you get down to the chasm? B. The folks at Infocom would be very interested. I'm trapped on the Aqueduct. What do I do? A. If you can't proceed to the north due to a collapsed segment, you're stuck. B. What might have caused this segment to collapse? C. The secret is to traverse this area before it is destroyed by the earthquake. Can the lake be crossed? A. "Go jump in a lake!" B. Seriously! Jump in and swim to one of the other shores. What is required to walk on water? A. A messianic complex? B. Do you also want to move mountains? How do I catch the fish? Just be careful that it doesn't catch _you_! What is a Roc? It is a legendary bird of prey of tremendous size and strength. Your probability of seeing it is low, but if you do, watch out! What can be done with the swamp gas? A. Swamp gas burns... B. If you could transport it across the lake, it might make a good light source. How do I transport the swamp gas? A. A bottle would be useful. B. Unfortunately, there are no bottles. By the way, where did you find swamp gas? C. Remember the introduction? If every question in this book were pertinent to the game, the questions themselves would give far too much away. Do not use the presence or absence of a question on a certain topic as an indication of what is important, and don't assume that long answers are associated with important questions. How can I get the shiny object? Try to take it until you eventually succeed. (There is a 50% probability that you will get it on any move. Although there is less than one chance in a thousand that you wouldn't get it within 10 tries, it could conceivably take zillions of tries.) What is the table with the "Scenic Vista" sign for? A. Have you ever examined it? B. Have you ever touched or rubbed it? C. You can look at or go to sections of ZORK I, ZORK II, ZORK III, and ENCHANTER(tm). Is there anything under the manhole cover? Try raising or moving it. How do I get a light source to the southern end of the lake? A. The light sources cannot be relit once they've gotten wet. B. They can't be taken across the lake without getting wet. C. There is no way to get a working light source to the south shore of the lake. D. There is another way! E. Have you seen the grue repellent? F. Figure out how to use the viewing table. G. Use the grue repellent to get to the Key Room and Aqueduct. The viewing table is also useful for pre-positioning the light source you will eventually need. How can I get to the coal in the Dead End? A. You can't. B. You are limited to three moves in the areas visited with the viewing table. There is no way for you to increase this. Obviously, if you could stay as long as you wanted, there would have to be four games on the diskette. What light source can I take to the west of the Timber Room? A. None. B. See question above. The Land of Shadow and the Cliff Area ************************************* What do I do about the hooded figure? A. Have you noticed anything you do which increases your score? B. You must fight the figure. C. Have you ever looked at the figure or looked under the hood? D. When badly injured, the figure is defenseless. E. Does killing the figure leave you feeling satisfied? F. While the figure is badly injured, try taking the hood. Why do I see myself? A. Very good question. B. This is actually a hint. How do I freeze the quicksand? A. A blast of supercold air might do the trick. B. The Great Underground Empire is far from polar regions. C. The quicksand can't be crossed. It is one of the many borders which keep the Underground Empire small enough to fit on a diskette. How do I get to the ship? A. Congratulations. Seeing the ship is rather rare. B. Have you tried walking on water? C. This is a Viking sailor. D. You've been waiting three games for this! E. Something happens here! F. Say HELLO SAILOR!! How do I open the chest? A. You can't open it. B. The man at the cliff has the only key. C. You'll have to wait for him to open it. D. Wait on the ledge for him to appear and follow his directions. Can the man at the cliff be trusted? A. He certainly seems like a practical joker. B. But he has the only key to the chest. C. Do exactly what he says -- and be patient. What is in the tree house? A. This could be the man's living quarters. B. The inflatable raft in the back room might be useful elsewhere. C. It is amazing that you got this far when there is no tree house. I have the treasure, but how do I mend the staff? A. It cannot be fixed. B. Have you tried protecting the staff (for example, throwing it off the cliff) before taking the treasure? C. You'll have to decide which you prefer, the treasure or the staff. I have the staff; how do I get the treasure? A. You might try killing the man before he walks away with it. B. You'll have to decide which you prefer, the treasure or the staff. What is the significance of Smokey the Bear? A. "Only you can prevent forest fires." B. Maybe you thought this was one of the nonsense questions. Try burning the trees. What is in the vial? A. "It feels as though there is something inside, but you can't see anything even though the vial is transparent." B. Have you tried drinking the contents? C. Look into the mirror immediately after drinking it. D. The invisible liquid is an invisibility potion. It will last only two moves and will not be effective against the more powerful denizens of the Great Underground Empire. The Royal Museum **************** When are the museum personnel on duty? A. Intrepid adventurers do not fear mere warning notes. B. They all died years ago. You'll have to risk it on your own. Is there anything I can do when I'm trapped in the small square room with marble and sandstone walls? A. There is a way out. B. Sandstone is a very light rock. C. Try pushing one of the sandstone walls (PUSH EAST WALL or PUSH SOUTH WALL). Where do I find dynamite? A. What a strange concept. B. +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | | | | | >>This space intentionally left blank<< | +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ What are the ladders for? A. Remember the hole through which you entered the puzzle? B. It is possible to maneuver one of the ladders into a position allowing you to climb out. What is the slot for? A. Have you tried putting anything in it? B. Try the lore book. C. This is one (although not the best) way out of the puzzle. I'm lost in the puzzle. How do I get out? A. There _are_ ways out. B. Try mapping (movable pieces to represent walls may help). Push as few walls as possible. C. You might make use of the slot (not recommended). D. Walls can only be pushed, never pulled. E. Starting from the Royal Puzzle entrance, the following moves will solve the puzzle. D. PUSH EAST WALL. S. S. SE. PUSH SOUTH WALL. N. NE. PUSH SOUTH WALL. TAKE BOOK. PUSH SOUTH WALL. E. NE. PUSH WEST WALL. SW. NW. NE. PUSH SOUTH WALL. SW. PUSH EAST WALL. NE. PUSH SOUTH WALL. NW. N. N. N. PUSH EAST WALL. SW. S. SE. NE. N. PUSH WEST WALL. NW. PUSH SOUTH WALL. AGAIN. W. NW. NW. PUSH SOUTH WALL. SE. SE. SE. NE. PUSH WEST WALL. AGAIN. SW. PUSH NORTH WALL. AGAIN. AGAIN. NW. UP. YELL. (Note: Innumerable other sequences will reach the same result.) What was the "snap" I heard? You ran into something with the wall. Movable objects are transported to the side room when hit by the wall. What does the gray machine do? A. This is a pressurizer. B. It is like the machine used in ZORK I to make diamonds. C. Unfortunately, it is not a working model. What does pushing the button on the gold machine do? A. Nothing if you aren't sitting on the seat when you push it. B. Nothing if you haven't changed the setting of the dial before pushing the button. C. This is a time machine. Pushing the button transports the person sitting in the chair (and only that person -- the time machine itself doesn't move) to the same spot in the year indicated on the dial (where you may find the time machine in the same position). The effect is not permanent -- in 40 moves you will snap back. The present year is 948. What does the black machine do? A. This is a room spinner. B. Presumably it is a model of the machine which spins the Carousel Room in ZORK II. C. Fortunately, it is not a working model. How can I read the plaque in the Technology Museum? It has faded with age and can no longer be read. How do I unlock the cage? A. That cage will protect the royal jewels until the end of time. B. It is, however, possible to get your hands on the jewels. C. You should learn the use of each machine in the Technology Museum. How do I take the royal jewels? A. The cage is impregnable, but you can't let small details like that stop you. Read the hints to unlocking the cage before going to B. B. By now you know that the gold machine is a time machine which can be used to go to the Jewel Room before the cage is installed. (Push the machine to the Jewel Room in the present and go back to the year 776.) C. Unfortunately, you can't carry anything with you through time. D. You must find a very good hiding place. Lord Dimwit Flathead's men will no doubt launch an extensive search for the missing jewels. They must remain hidden for 200 years. E. You might check the machines for a good place. (Wait for the guards to leave.) F. Have you looked under the seat in the time machine? G. Excessive greed in an adventurer of your status is unbecoming. H. Only the ring can be successfully hidden. I. If you succeed in getting the ring, Flathead has the other jewels moved. If you botch the burglary, two things can happen: 1) They realize the time machine works and remove it; or 2) They find the jewels displaced and simply put them back (but a different plaque is installed). What do I do about the robot? Congratulations. It is a very rare treat to see the robot. Just try again. Beyond the Secret Door ********************** What does the red button do? A. Pushing the button alone is not notably helpful. B. Pushing the button is helpful if another action precedes it. C. Haven't you been curious about the red beam of light? D. Block the beam with an object, then push the button. E. You will find that the mirror is a doorway. What do I do about the red beam of light? A. You can jump over it, but it won't do you much good. B. Trying to take it is similarly useless. C. Does the fact that it is only an inch above the floor suggest anything? D. Have you tried blocking it with your hand? E. Try blocking it with an object. You will now find that the button is useful. What is the wet suit for? What wet suit? Is the mirror important? A. Presumably you have already tried touching it, looking into it, pushing it, breaking it. B. It is important, but you will have no direct interaction with it. How do I break the panel? A. "The panel is not that easily destroyed." B. You don't. The Rectangular Box ******************* What is the significance of the different colored walls? A. By making them different colors, you can refer to them separately. B. Pushing on the red or yellow walls can cause the box to rotate on the central pivot pole in a clockwise direction. Pushing the black or white walls can cause the box to rotate counterclockwise. What is the significance of the pine wall? If nothing is blocking it on the other side, pushing on it will cause it to swing out so that you can leave the box. What is the significance of the mahogany wall? If the box is aligned properly, pushing on it will cause the entire box to move. What is the long pole for? A. The long pole is at the center of the box and extends from the ceiling to the floor. B. It is a pivot around which the box can be turned. What is the short pole for? A. Doesn't the hand grip suggest anything? B. "The pole has been dropped into a hole in the stone floor." C. Try raising the short pole. D. The short pole anchors the box in position. E. It can also be used to steady it when it is moved. What is the T-bar for? It has an arrow carved on it. What is the significance of the direction the arrow is pointing? That is the direction the mahogany wall faces. Is the wobble significant? A. It can be avoided. B. It can also have negative consequences. C. If you drop the short pole into the channel, it will steady the movement of the box. How can I undress the stone? A. Pervert! B. Look up "dressed" (as it applies to stone) in the dictionary. Why am I being killed while inside the box? A. Once you have rotated the box 90 [degrees] from its original position, you may want to leave it to scout the area beyond. B. Learn all you can about the Guardians of Zork. C. If the Guardians notice the box due to a broken mirror, open door, or a wobble, they will kill you. The Guardians of Zork ********************* How can I pass the Guardians of Zork? A. Glass Pipes The Guardians strike anything which they see between them. B. The Guardians are described as "identical" and "perfectly symmetrical." If you walk in front of them or throw something in front of them, they destroy "in perfect unison." C. Do you think a Guardian could distinguish between the sight of the other and the sight of himself in a mirror? D. You can travel past them inside the mirror box. ("It's all done with mirrors.") E. An alternate solution is to walk past while invisible. How is the scuba tank attached to the wet suit? A. What scuba tank and wet suit? B. +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | | | | | | | | | >>This space intentionally left blank<< | +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ I seem to have gotten past the Guardians, but I'm still being killed. What should I do? Rotate the structure so that the door doesn't open into their field of view. How do I open the large wooden door with the barred panel? A. _You_ can't open it. B. Have you tried knocking? What must I do to satisfy the old man at the large door? A. "He looks you over with his keen, piercing gaze and then speaks gravely..." B. This is the Dungeon Master. C. He is looking for something. What you think might be valuable may have nothing to do with it. D. Most of the problems in the game are tests by the Dungeon Master to see whether you are ready. E. You have met him before when you have died. F. Does nothing about his description strike you as odd? G. "He is dressed simply in a hood and cloak, wearing a few simple jewels, carrying something under one arm, and leaning on a wooden staff. A single key, as if to a massive prison cell, hangs from his belt." H. You can acquire his entire costume by solving the problems in the game. I. Your goal is to _become_ the Dungeon Master. You will need the hood and cloak, the amulet and ring, the key, the wooden staff, and the lore book. The Dungeon *********** Why won't the Dungeon Master follow me? A. Have you asked him to? B. Say DUNGEON MASTER, FOLLOW ME. (See your game manual.) What should be thrown into the flaming pit? A. The end had come, and this was it; He dropped her in the flaming pit. -- Edward Gorey B. Anything dropped into the pit is lost forever. What will scratch the marble? +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | | | | | | | Huh? | +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ What are the sundial and button for? A. You can set the dial to any of the eight numbers. B. Try spinning or setting it and then pushing the button. Did anything change? C. You might try putting something in the cell first. D. Reading the lore book now might help. E. This is a magic dungeon (no doubt a product of Frobozzco). There are eight cells. Pushing the button causes the cell selected to appear, and the cell which was there to go back to its usual spot. How do I unlock the bronze door? A. Have you tried the key? B. This is the first lock it has fit. Why do you think it won't turn? C. You must learn more about how this dungeon works. D. It will unlock only if you are in cell 4 and in the cell's normal location. How do I get out of the cell? A. Can't you open the door? B. If the dial has been set to a new number and you have had the Dungeon Master push the button while you were in the cell, there is no way back. General Questions ***************** What is my goal? What am I supposed to be doing? When you come to the entrance to the dungeon and meet the Dungeon Master, your purpose may become clearer. How does the scoring in this game work? A. The scoring is a hint as to what is important. B. The points are not "earned" by solving problems or acquiring items. You receive a point when you start on a path where you have a _potential_ for progress in the game. C. It is possible to have all seven points without correctly solving any of the problems. How do I relight the burned-out torch? A. I see no matches here. B. There is no way to relight the torch. You'll have to find a way to avoid getting it wet. How can I repair the lamp? If it has gotten wet or the battery has run out, the lamp is out for good. It is always best to conserve resources. You can prolong the life of the lamp by keeping it dry and turning it off whenever alternate light sources are available. What is a compass rose? +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | [drawing of compass rose which cannot be included in a text file] | | | | | +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ Where do I use the timber? A. It is as useful here as it was in ZORK I. B. In other words, it isn't useful at all. What do I do with the grue repellent? Read the label. Where can I find the amulet? A. "Go jump in a lake!" B. Have you ever tried diving to the bottom of the lake? How Points Are Earned ********************* (Use only as a last resort.) You earn one point when you... ...encounter the hooded figure. ...attack the hooded figure. ...reach the Cliff Ledge. ...jump in the lake. ...touch the viewing table. ...push the button on the time machine while the dial is set to 776. ...push a sandstone wall in the Royal Puzzle. Of course, you can have all seven points and still be far from completing the game. For Your Amusement ****************** (after you've finished the game) Have you ever: ...said HELLO to the man at the cliff? ...tried to throw anything from the cliff at the man? ...been eaten by the Roc or swallowed by the fish in the lake? ...tried to eat the algae? ...tried to examine the key repeatedly? ...tried saying HELLO SAILOR at the ocean before the Viking boat arrives or after it leaves? ...been at the Aqueduct View, on the Aqueduct, at the Great Door, or visiting one of the other Zorks while the earthquake took place? ...seen the robot that tidies the Royal Museum (and no doubt closes doors it finds open)? ...walked into the grue convention in the dark rooms? ...gone to the Museum Entrance or Jewel Room in 777? ...moved the temporizer to one of the other rooms in 776 and left it there (and then read the plaque in 948)? ...listened to the guards or the dedication through the museum door? ...looked into the passageway alongside the mirror box while next to the Guardians? ...looked into the mirror or knocked on the dungeon door while invisible? ...tried to walk through the swamp or quicksand? ...burned the staff, book, tree, grue repellant can,...?

Awesomeness!

"G.U.E. ON NINE ZORKMIDS A DAY" [Pictures of 7 baggage tags: - North Anthar Granola Mines Clusters of FUN for the whole family - I Visited Greater Borphee And its Fixum Rixa Poo Nastic!! [sic.] - Come Again to ARAGAIN Capital of the Frigid River - King Zilbo Hotel Midtown Gurth "Where Every Guest is Treated Like a *ELTNID" - I [heart] MITHICUS - I Survived The Jungles of Miznia BLOODWORM MECCA of the G.U.E. - Flying Carpet Airlines forward to: Tunnels of Love, Frigid River Valley from: Lenko Cavem, 938120 Plateau Place, North-South City G.U.E TWELTH CLASS] A Traveller's Guide to the Great Underground Empire by Lester Foozilbarmumboz Frobozz Magic Book Company. Copied right in the year 873. All rights reversed. FESTERON TOWN LIBRARY 03/35/874 07/07/876 03/02/881 05/11/874 09/02/876 06/14/883 09/01/874 02/13/877 04/22/917 01/29/875 03/09/878 02/21/948 04/34/875 07/35/878 06/10/875 01/03/879 04/21/876 08/06/879 Please take care of me... library books belong to everyone. ANTHARIA [Picture] Shown at Flathead Stadium is a citizen trying to get a leg up on the competition during an exciting shark wrestling match. LOCAL GOVERNMENT: Antharia is ruled by a council of four "Elders"-- one from the Shipbuilding Guild, one from the Granola Miners Guild, one from the Marble Cutters Guild, and one from a popular waterfront pub called "Emu's." TRANSPORTATION: Getting to and from Antharia is limited to travel by ship. (An Enchanter familiar with teleportation spells can be hired, but are expensive and sometimes unreliable.) Normal third-class fare for this two-day journey can coast as much as 17 zorkmids during the month before the Marble Pageant. WEATHER: Except for an occasional hurricane in late summer, Antharian weather is picture-perfect. Leave your umbrella home, but don't forget to pack your swim suit and scuba gear! LODGING: The world-famous Zilton Hotel in downtown Anthar feature plush accommodations and easy access to most of the island's sights. Prices range from 6 to 24 zorkmids per night. More economical lodgings can be found at the bucolic Pterodactyl Inn. Every room features a stunning view of the cliffs overlooking the lovely north shore of the island, and rates range from 2 to 8 zorkmids per night. DINING: An absolute must is The Rusty Knife in West Anthar. Expect to wait at least an hour; the house specialty is flame-broiled sea serpent filet for a mere Zm1.25. Other fine seafood restaurants include the Finhouse (Zm0.50 to Zm1.50) and Zilbar's (Zm0.35 to Zm1.50). THINGS TO SEE: The shipbuilding factories of South Anthar are an amazing sight; plan to spend at least half a day. Tours for 1 zorkmid are available every hour from dawn to dusk. The burgeoning marble industry offers many exciting sights: the gaping mines in the Peltoid Valley, the cutting and polishing guilds at work, the 20-bloit conveyor belt at the port of Marba. Despite the reduced output since the Granola Riots, the granola mines in the north make an interesting visit if you can stand the smell. No trip to the island would be complete without a cruise on the island's only glass-bottom boat, the Bella Quease. The cruise leaves an hour before noon, and costs Zm2.25 (children under 12, Zm1.50). Glass Pipes SEASONAL EVENTS: The Marble Pageant, held annually in mid-spring, is highly recommended. However, during the month of the Pageant, hotel space becomes scarce, and many prices are inflated. Shark-wrestling, held every weekend during the summer at Anthar's Flathead Stadium, is an exciting experience if you can stomach the gore. Admission is Zm0.75. FACTS: Land Area: 959 square bloits Capital: Anthar Nickname: The Island Province Flower: The Spenseweed Motto: "Heiya wizka" ("Hello sailor") GREATER BORPHEE [Picture of a beach with sign: FLATHEAD BEACH "Beach Blanket Fannuci" [sic.] filmed here in 871 G.U.E.] With wave heights averaging 38 ft., surfing is always great. LOCAL GOVERNMENT: Greater Borphee is administered by a staff of part-time volunteer managers, whose decisions are ratified at least three times per year, but not more than every other week, by a series of local forums. TRANSPORTATION: Borphee is probably the single most accessible vacation spot in the Empire. From anywhere in the Borphee River valley, travel by ferry is easy and inexpensive. If you wish to travel by sea, Borphee has an excellent, busy harbor. By land, the Coast Road connects Borphee with the ancient cities to the north as well as the populous southlands. WEATHER: Thanks to the nearby ocean, Borphee has a very moderate climate. The rainy season lasts most of the winter, and summers tend to be humid. LODGING: Motel Spell is a highly commercialized tourist trap with overdone touches such as the issuing of self-casting REZROV spells instead of keys. Rooms start at 5 zorkmids. Be forewarned, patrons who miss check-out time will have their families turned into newts and their luggage turned into bat guano. The Borphee Inn, run by the Frobozz Magic Hotel Company, is comfortable and surprisingly affordable. While penthouse suites can run upwards of 33 zorkmids per day, basement rooms are available for as little as 3 zorkmids (but make your reservations well in advance). DINING: The Potion Palace, at the Borphee Inn, features a delightful menu of enchanted dishes. Waiters are a thing of the past at the Palace, as your mind is probed to discover the perfect meal for your taste, which then poofs into existence right at your table. A nightly floor show features dancing nymphs; expect to spend at least Zm4. Also highly recommended is the Smokestack, where even the heartiest of meals costs under a zorkmid. THINGS TO SEE: Borphee is the Kingdom's fastest-growing industrial city, with the magic scroll and potion factories leading the way. Both Spellbound and United Thaumaturgy offer free tours of their facilities. (Spellbound's deluxe tour costs Zm3, but it includes casting a time travel spell that gives you three extra hours in your schedule.) G.U.E. Tech, the newest of the Moss-League Colleges, produces the young Enchanters of tomorrow. Many graduates have gone on to start their own magic companies, and have become an identifiable subculture known as "Yuppie," or "Young Underground Professionals." Just a short trip south of the city are some of the most beautiful stretches of beach anywhere on the Flathead Ocean, including the very dunes where "Beach Blanket Fanucci" was filmed. Borphee nightlife is renowned throughout the Empire; Studio Frob on the wharf features an excellent Phlog and Tonic for Zm0.25. Warning: the Borphee Observation Tower is a complete waste of money. Admittance is Zm7, and the air in downtown Borphee never provides visibility of more than a fraction of a bloit. SEASONAL EVENTS: Borphee is the site of the annual Double Fanucci Championships. During the first week in autumn, the entire province fills up with every Double Fanucci fanatic in the kingdom. Tickets to each game in the finals cost 3 zorkmids, but usually sell out within hours. Scalpers command as much as 20 zorkmids for a good seat. In late spring, G.U.E. Tech holds their annual Spelling Bee, which is free and open to the public. The highlight of last year's competition was Magic O'Leary's stunning mastery of clairvoyance spells which allowed him to win the Bee before the first word was even issued. Every winter, the hills of Borphee come alive with the sound(s) of the most dreadful singers in the Kingdom. This event, aptly named The From Bad to Worst Songfest, allows those truly terrible singers to gain recognition while vying for the much-coveted prize of a pair of 18k gold earplugs. Because most hillside residents schedule out-of-town court appearances or surgery during this two-week period, you may be able to rent an apartment or house for as little as Zm2 or Zm3.5, respectively. On the official first day of summer, thousands gather at the Borphee Harbor for the G.U.E. Festival of Small Ships. Throughout the day, hundreds of these floating antiques drop their mini-anchors in the water and send off rockets, flares and fireworks to herald their safe arrival. Only those spectators 4 feet 5 inches and under will be allowed to board the ships. Admission is free so come early to beat the crowds. FACTS: Population: 1,107,810 Land Area: 754 square bloits Capital: Borphee Nickname: The Industrial Province Flower: The Compass Rose Motto: "Borphee-- fixum rixa poo nastik" ("Borphee-- better than you think") [Picture] Double Fanucci Stadium--where tickets for the annual Double Fanucci championships often go as high as 20 zorkmids each. THE FRIGID RIVER VALLEY [Picture] Flathead Mountains--inaccessable backwater of the Great Underground Empire. LOCAL GOVERNMENT: None to speak of. TRANSPORTATION: Unless you travel via flying carpet, you'll find this region to be virtually cut off from the rest of the Empire. You can hack your way east through the coastal forests with a machete, or try to cross the Flathead Mountains from the east, or you can try to travel up the Frigid River, bucking the most severe currents and dangerous rapids known to man. We suggest air travel. WEATHER: Very unpredictable, but you'll probably be spending most of your time underground. LODGING: The Tunnels of Love are a favorite of the Kingdom's honeymooners, located a stone's throw from Aragain Falls. The Tunnels are well-known for their vast honeycomb of passageways, and couples have been known to raise entire families just trying to find their rooms. Rates range from Zm2 for a room to Zm10 for a Honeymoon Suite. The Cliffhouse, near White Cliffs Beach, is inexpensive (all rooms are Zm2) and convenient to the big tourist spots. DINING: The Roundup, just off the Round Room, specializes in dragon dishes. Entrees range from Zm0.30 to Zm0.80. The Aqueduct offers reasonably good cuisine and a breathtaking view of one of the Empire's primary water channels. Slightly overpriced at Zm1.20 to Zm2.20. THINGS TO SEE: Flood Control Dam Number Three is a staggering engineering feat that must be seen to be believed. Nearby is Aragain Falls, the so-called Honeymoon Capital of the Great Underground Empire. Slightly farther away is the Royal Museum, although the three-week security clearance procedure discourages many visitors. If mountain climbing turns you on, the Flathead Mountains offer one of the best challenges anywhere. SEASONAL EVENTS: On the first day of summer, crowds line the banks of the Frigid River for a spectacular sight: the annual opening of the floodgates of FCD Number Three, which lower the water level of the reservoir behind. Frequently, the king himself will be on hand to open the floodgates personally. FACTS: Population: 98,330 Land Area: 15,232 square bloits Capital: Aragain Nickname: The Deepest Province Flower: The Budding Fern Motto: "Blippi burz fliggin" ("Dig we must") GURTH AND MITHICUS LOCAL GOVERNMENT: An informal board of 13 thousand citizens meets three times each day to settle disputes and ratify the provincial budget. TRANSPORTATION: Take the Coast Road south from Borphee, or sail to the port of Miznia. Travel from any of the westlands should coast no more than 5 zorkmids. WEATHER: Absolutely wonderful for most of the year, but it can sometimes get unbearably hot during the peak summer months; bring mosquito netting. LODGING: In Gurth, try the King Zilbo Hotel, an elegant old building with rooms for as little as Zm2.50. Your best bet in Mithicus is the new No-Frill Inn. Rooms are only Zm0.75 per night, but almost everything is extra. (For example, beds are an additional Zm0.50 per night, pillows Zm0.20.) DINING: The Broken Lantern in the village of Grubbo-By-The-Sea serves a fine parrot stew, as well as other local delicacies in an intimate setting. The desserts are world-famous; the morgia root pie is a must. Most meals will be around Zm1.50; desserts are extra. THINGS TO SEE: The southlands are known for their many fine artisans. You can make arrangements to see carpenters, woodcarvers, rock cutters, potmakers, and basket weavers at work. The region is also prime vacationland, with many activities to choose from: sky diving, bull- fighting, surfing, skin diving and glurking. Rates vary seasonally, but a day's worth of any of these activities will cost you no more than 2 or 3 zorkmids. Consider exploring the jungles of Miznia, but stay away from the well-marked bloodworm spawning grounds unless you have a trained guide. Trained guides usually start at Zm8 per day. SEASONAL EVENTS: The gigantic Gurth City Crafts Fair is held every weekend during the spring. The finest products of over 80 different guilds are displayed and sold. In early autumn, the annual Harvest Festival gets underway for a colorful two-week celebration featuring local foods, drinks, song and dance. FACTS: Population: 2,883,190 Land Area: 21,545 square bloits Capital: Gurth City Nickname: The Vacation Province Flower: The Morgia Motto: "Utribiz oomum flaxil zobs" ("Don't eat moldy bread") [Picture] Over 80 different guilds and 120 different local delicacies are represented at the Gurth City Crafts Fair. THE GRAY MOUNTAINS [Picture] The snow-making equipment at the Gray Mountains always provides optimal snowburrowing conditions. LOCAL GOVERNMENT: Local matters are settled entirely by a tyrannical governor who is chosen once a month by a lottery. TRANSPORTATION: Travel to this remote area has recently been made much simpler by the completion of the Great Underground Highway's eastern branch. Tolls will run as high as Zm3 depending on your point of departure. WEATHER: Thanks to active hot springs, the temperature of the underground caverns in this region stays at a uniform ideal temperature. However, up on the surface, the temperature is nearly always below freezing, with frequent blizzards. LODGING: The brochures for Grayslopes recommend a place called the Ski Pole, but avoid this fleabag at all costs, unless you like bedbugs, rusty water, and rude help. (Apparently, the owners of Grayslopes also own a piece of the Ski Pole.) Instead, stay at the intimate Come-On Inn, which cost only Zm1.30. The Come-On also offers discounts on all equipment rental. DINING: The Glacier Room is a colorful dive which is a favorite hangout for the locals. In addition to generous helpings of good food, the Glacier Room also provides cast rests for diners. From Zm0.60. Warning: ignore recommendations by natives to dine at the Rotgut. Although the locals love to eat there, recommending it to visitors is a practical joke the natives love to play. After all, they've been brought up on this sort of food, plus they know all the best bromide cures. THINGS TO SEE: The hot springs are somewhat overrated as a tourist spot. As far as we're concerned, a trip to the Gray Mountains means one thing: snow sports. A lift ticket at Grayslopes costs Zm3 for a day. Skating on the slanted frozen surface of Lake Dinge is an exhilarating experience. Snowburrowers rent for around 6 zorkmids per week, but be sure to spend an extra Zm1.50 for a service contract. SEASONAL EVENTS: None. There are no seasons in the Gray Mountains. FACTS: Population: 18,370 Land Area: 13,441 square bloits Capital: Frostham Nickname: The Fire and Ice Province Flower: Frobizzan Moss Motto: "Mekie zimbuz" ("Maybe tomorrow") from Interactive Fiction Archive ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive/